


Invisible Touch

by laquesis



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Hand Jobs, Jealousy, M/M, Obliviousness, Pining, excessive usage of unnecessary commas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-30
Updated: 2019-03-30
Packaged: 2019-12-26 15:26:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18285059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laquesis/pseuds/laquesis
Summary: Minhyun loves to take care of his members and it's driving Kim Jaehwan insane.





	Invisible Touch

**Author's Note:**

  * For [whitebeaaaar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/whitebeaaaar/gifts).



> I kind of wrote this on a whim, so I'm sorry if it feels rushed and unpolished. 
> 
> I was in a slump and I couldn't write any of the prompts I had in mind, so I felt like writing something lighter could help. I don't think it did, though. 
> 
> I hope you guys still enjoy it!

They had a fun day. Busy, but fun - one of the best in Jaehwan’s life, really. He knew they were supposed to start filming their variety show around these days but wasn’t sure of the exact date, so when he woke up to the red strings tied everywhere across their dorm his reaction was pretty genuine.

 

So was his surprise when he found out Minhyun was his designated partner - that people actually voted for them to be together - and, if he was being honest, he squealed inside a little bit. Well, maybe he squealed out loud, too. He would take any excuse to be close to Minhyun and when he found out they would spend the day literally tied together, he looked up and thanked the heavens for his luck.

 

Jaehwan knew his crush on Minhyun was getting out of hand, knew that it would probably end up getting him hurt. But he also knew it was already too late. It’s something that has been growing inside him ever since they ended up together in the same group for the first time during Produce, and that was kind of consolidated by the end of the competition. It wasn’t a long time, but it was a period of very intense contact. They saw each other every day, they slept in the same room every day, they ate together every day, they worked together every day, and Minhyun has always been there for him, each and every step of the way, with his beautiful face and his beautiful heart. And now that the hardest part had come to an end, he  _still_ hasn’t let go of him, and that didn’t help Jaehwan’s situation at all.

 

So he just accepted that if he wouldn’t be able to escape from his feelings, he might as well enjoy being with close to Minhyun. And anything further happening between them would be _so_ far from the realm of possibility that Jaehwan was pretty much conformed and even comfortable with the situation they were in. Or so he told himself every day.

 

But yes, the day had been great and by the end of it the boys were completely beaten. After showering - separately, of course.  _Mnet_ had given them a little bit of flexibility in their rules, which made Jaehwan very relieved because he wasn’t prepared physically or emotionally to be that close to a naked Minhyun - they went to sleep together in that tiny bed of his, their bodies still linked together by the red rope. Minhyun had told Jaehwan he had planned to get up and go to his own bed around an hour later - that’s when the camera crew would leave - but Jaehwan ended up falling asleep even before that, his body pressed between Minhyun’s warmth and the coldness of the wall behind him.

 

When Jaehwan wakes up the next morning, he’s both surprised and pleased to see that Minhyun is still there. He fidgets a little bit on the bed and manages to unclasp the rope from his wrist, but tries not to move too much so he wouldn’t wake Minhyun up. It’s not the most comfortable position in the world, but he wants to enjoy the moment a little bit more, to feel Minhyun’s skin against his, to feel the scent and the softness of his hair where it tickled Jaehwan’s face. He wondered if he should feel like a creep, but he isn’t doing anything wrong. He isn’t even touching him deliberately, just enjoying their closeness.

 

Jaehwan feels Minhyun move against his body and get a little too close for comfort and suddenly he’s too aware of the morning erection in his pants. He couldn’t even blame Minhyun for it: it happened almost every day - Jaehwan was a healthy young man, after all - but the presence of Minhyun was definitely making it worse.  Jaehwan tries to move his body back a little bit, slowly and silently. He tries to turn around but his plan ultimately fails, because it’s only a couple of seconds before he hears Minhyun’s slurred voice.

 

“Hmmm Jaehwannie… g’d morning.” Minhyun mumbles as he turns his body to face Jaehwan’s. 

 

“Good morning, hyung!!!” Jaehwan tries to stay composed and ends up sounding too enthusiastic. He reminds himself to keep his voice down so he wouldn’t wake the other members up.

 

“Sorry I ended up falling asleep up here.” He says as he stretches his arms.“ ‘t was too comfy. Did it bother you?”

 

“No, not at all! Slept like a r-rock!” Jaehwan’s voice falters when he feels Minhyun’s leg move against his own crotch and oh God, he’s doomed.

 

“ _Oh._ ” Minhyun says, making it crystal clear that he noticed Jaehwan’s hard on, and he desperately wants to dig a hole into the wall so he could hide. There’s a moment of awkward silence before Minhyun breaks it, giggling a bit as he talks and pinching Jaehwan’s cheek “Hey, you’re all red. There’s no need to be embarrassed, y’know. It’s natural”

 

Jaehwan is almost relieved by how unbothered Minhyun seems and that makes what he would say next even more shocking.  

 

“I could help you take care of it if you want” he says it so casually, like he’s offering Jaehwan a bite of his lunch.

 

Jaehwan lifts his head to look at Minhyun’s face, having trouble believing what he’s hearing. “W-what” he says as he feels his dick stir in his pants at Minhyun's words. It’s the most confusing feeling he’s ever had.

 

“I can help you take care of this. Take care of you.” He has that warm but serious look on his face that Jaehwan can’t read. He sounds genuine and Jaehwan’s still incredulous, but he hears himself say “o-okay” and he _swears_ it was involuntary and that a weird entity took over him.

 

And from that, things happen really fast. Minhyun’s hands search for Jaehwan’s groin, sliding under his pink pajama pants and his underwear and pulling them down a little, allowing Jaehwan’s cock to spring free. When he feels Minhyun’s fingers close around him for the first time his entire body shudders. Minhyun thumbs the slit of his cock, spreading precome all over his length, and his fingers run up and down, slowly but firmly, making Jaehwan struggle not to pant loud. Minhyun then rubs a finger against the underside of the head and stays there for a while and Jaehwan is sure he isn’t going to last like that. The whole situation is overwhelming.

 

He never dares to look at Minhyun’s face and Minhyun doesn’t kiss Jaehwan or touch him anywhere else, but Jaehwan is too busy getting lost in the moment to notice it. He unknowingly buries his head between Minhyun’s neck and shoulder, trying not to let out a moan, and he feels Minhyun’s hand caress his hair slowly, hears him making shushing sounds like he’s soothing him. It all feels _too good_ and too intense and Jaehwan comes all over Minhyun’s hand only a couple of minutes later, breathing hard against Minhyun’s neck. Minhyun keeps stroking him for a short moment, his other hand still caressing Jaehwan’s hair.

 

Before Jaehwan could even finish processing what the fuck just happened, he hears Minhyun say:

 

“There, there. Feeling better now?” There’s something different in his voice, something Jaehwan can’t quite figure out. So he just mumbles a quiet “Y-yes, thank you hyung” because he’s too perplexed and has no idea what else to say, still not daring to look Minhyun in the eyes.

 

“Good!” Minhyun casually says as he sits up on the mattress and hops off the bunk bed. “The boys will probably be up soon. I'm going to make breakfast, you want something?”

 

“N-no, thank you hyung” he says, still utterly confused, and Minhyun disappears out of the door as if nothing out of the ordinary happened, leaving Jaehwan a huge mess of confusion.

 

-

 

The second time is what sets the pattern. Jaehwan wakes up earlier than everyone else and before he can leave the room he hears Minhyun call his name.

 

“Jaehwannie, come here” he says, his voice sweet and sleepy, and Jaehwan goes to him like there is someone pulling him with a giant magnet.

 

Minhyun gives the empty space beside him a couple of taps, inviting Jaehwan to lie beside him. Jaehwan does, heart jumping, wondering if _that_ could happen again. He was pretty sure it was just an one-time thing - Minhyun didn’t even acknowledge it later, his behavior around Jaehwan not changing at all - and he wasn’t sure if he was supposed to be relieved or heartbroken.

 

“Are you alright? I've noticed you've been a little down lately.” Minhyun asks, and his breath is so close to Jaehwan’s neck that it’s getting harder for him to think properly. To make things worse, there’s something else getting harder in his pants. Jaehwan had planned to get rid of his morning wood in the shower, but Minhyun had interrupted his plans before he could get there.

 

“I’m alright, hyung. Just tired, is all.” he manages to sound composed and he’s proud of himself “A bit stressed, though. I’m not used to this _celebrity life_ thingie” He uses a self-mocking tone when saying that. Jaehwan is extremely grateful for everything that happened to him the last few months and he’s happier than he’s ever been, but the word ‘celebrity’ wasn’t something he was comfortable with or that he agreed with, even.

“Yeah, I know how difficult it is.” Minhyun says and he really does know -  he’s told Jaehwan about his trajectory with Nu’Est and all of his struggles and his dreams and his genuine love for music, and all of that made him admire Minhyun even more. 

 

“You know I’m here, don’t you? If you need any help, just...ask me.” He gives Jaehwan’s belly an affectionate pinch, breath still tickling his neck, and Jaehwan can’t help but shudder under his touch. He feels Minhyun’s hand caress his stomach, then go lower... Jaehwan flinches, heart thumping loud.

 

“It’s alright, it’s alright.” Minhyun says, sensing Jaehwan’s nervousness. “Can I?” His voice is so warm, so affectionate. Does Minhyun have any idea of the implications of what he’s offering him? _Again_ ? Of how much this messes with his head, with his _heart_? Because Minhyun seems to be completely clueless and Jaehwan is too weak to deny him, so he just stays quiet and lets Minhyun touch him, lets his hand travel down his shorts and cup his erection first over the fabric, then under it. Jaehwan closes his eyes and bites his lip and grabs Minhyun’s arm, trying not to think, just letting himself feel.

 

-

 

It keeps happening. Not super frequently - happens just when they find themselves alone together during early mornings with no schedule. Sometimes it happens in Jaehwan’s bed, but it’s mostly in Minhyun’s because it's more convenient. There was this one time where it happened in the bathroom, in the shower, and it sent Jaehwan into a crisis. It had felt more real, somehow, and it gave Jaehwan a little bit of confidence for a fleeting second. Minhyun still only gave him a tap on his shoulder and left him there, after everything was over, and just like that his hopes were out the door.

 

Still, Jaehwan starts to get a little more comfortable with the situation, a little less tense. He would look Minhyun in the eyes, now; sometimes they would even chat a little after they finish. There were times when Minhyun’s hand would travel lower - but not _too_ low - there were times when Minhyun would extend his pleasure a little bit, would play with him a little more. But that was it - they never kiss and Minhyun never touches Jaehwan anywhere else, never lets Jaehwan touch him back. On a day when Jaehwan is feeling particularly courageous, he asks Minhyun if he could do the same to him - not the words he used exactly. Jaehwan doesn’t actually remember them, he was too nervous - but Minhyun politely declines with something like “I’m okay, Jaehwannie.” and Jaehwan remembers feeling devastated.

 

It happens again just a few days after. Because Jaehwan doesn't have the strength to deny him.

 

It becomes some sort of routine for them and it’s breaking Jaehwan’s heart, because it means _so much_ to him when it’s clearly something so casual to Minhyun, and Jaehwan struggles to understand why, _how_. He wonders if Minhyun does it against his will, if he does it out of some sort of pity, if he does it just because he feels somehow obliged to. Because Minhyun is a people pleaser and because he _always_ wants to help everyone in as many ways possible. Could this be just another way? Jaehwan should talk to him about it, he knows, but is it worth the risk of ruining everything they have? Their friendship is still intact, or so it seems, and Jaehwan couldn’t lose that. That would hurt even more. But he couldn’t help wanting more of him, more for him, and this weird habit they have is kind of destroying him.

 

His hyungs are always saying during variety shows and V-Live streams that _Minhyun likes to take care of his members a lot_ , and Jaehwan remembers what Minhyun had said to him first time it happened. “Let me take care of this, take care of you.” And he feels a huge spark of jealousy in his heart, he can’t help but wonder if he’s done this with other members and his heart hurts at the thought. And he beats himself out of guilt for even thinking that, for even judging him for that. Still, he starts to pay more attention to how Minhyun treats their members, to how he’s always touching and hugging them and showering them with affection and even sleeping together with them - and that combined with how naturally he treats his weird arrangement with Jaehwan makes him more and more certain that that’s he is nothing special. That that’s just how Minhyun is, how he’s always been and that Jaehwan is only one among them all.

 

-

 

They move dorms. Jaehwan has his own room, now, and Minhyun is rooming with Sungwoon. It never happens again, after that.

 

Minhyun is still the same and he doesn't treat Jaehwan any different, but after a while Jaehwan feels _himself_ become distant. He loses hours of sleep trying hard not to wonder if Minhyun is doing to Sungwoon what he used to do with him, trying not to create unwanted images in his head and he tries, he really does, not to be driven wild with jealousy.  It’s wrong, and it’s not his business, and Minhyun can do whatever he wants, but it hurts. And Jaehwan is still too weak, so he has to step back a little bit so he can try to begin to heal himself. To forget. Turns out he's going to lose Minhyun’s friendship after all, and it's all his fucking fault.

 

It doesn’t work at first, it only makes Minhyun voice his worries about him even more often. He has to hear him ask “Are you ok, Jaehwannie?” and say “I’m here for you, you can count on me” every day, sometimes even multiple times a day. But he notices Minhyun’s voice lose a little bit of its warmth each time, notices that the questions get less and less frequent and it breaks his heart to pieces.  

 

 

-

 

 

They room together at a hotel in Hong Kong during the World Tour.  It wasn’t their choice, really. The roommates were chosen in a draw like they would most times, and Jaehwan was aware this could happen. He’s scared. Scared Minhyun would be too cold to him, scared Minhyun would be too _kind_ to him… Scared of himself, of how he’s going to act, being alone around Minhyun after so long. But he’s also _happy_ to finally be with him again, just the two of them. Because the truth is Jaehwan misses Minhyun _so_ much he would even risk making a fool of himself just to have him back for a little while. He decides he would act as normal as he could. No jealousy, no pettiness. He could do it.  

 

 

 

“Hey. You wanna talk?” Minhyun asks him from his bed a couple of minutes after they lay down “It’s been so long since we actually talked. I missed you.”

 

“I know." He admits, defeated. "And it’s my fault, hyung. I’ve had...stuff in my head and since we don’t share…” _Don’t say too much, Kim Jaehwan._ “Nevermind. I know I’ve been weird, but I’m better now.  And I’m really sorry. I miss you too, hyung. I miss you a lot.”

 

“Come here” Minhyun says with open arms, inviting Jaehwan into a hug and Jaehwan goes to him immediately. All of those efforts of staying away from him, of forgetting him, going down the drain in just a few minutes, because it’s _Minhyun_ and Jaehwan just couldn’t resist him.

 

The hug is tight and warm and it’s _long_ and Jaehwan doesn’t really want to ever get out. He stays there, in Minhyun’s bed, in his embrace, as he tries to brush off all the negative intrusive thoughts and tries to enjoy him, enjoy being with him, and in the end he _succeeds_ and it just feels so good.

 

They talk, and they laugh and Minhyun never stops touching him, somehow, be it with a hand on his hair, or over his stomach, or his fingers playing with the hem his shirt… It drives Jaehwan insane and _of course_ it gets him hard. And _of course_ Minhyun notices it, like he has a radar for it.

 

There’s that familiar silence before Minhyun says the words, “Jaehwannie, let me” and Jaehwan says to himself he won't let him, not this time. This time they would talk about it. He would say “Minhyun-hyung, we should stop this. This is messing with my mind and it might be something ordinary to you but it isn’t to me”. But Minhyun turns Jaehwan body around and now they are facing each other and he’s so beautiful and he’s looking at Jaehwan with such intensity that it makes him shiver, it makes him want to do something crazy, something he would he regret later.

 

So instead of pushing Minhyun away, Jaehwan kisses him.

 

Jaehwan kisses him and _Oh my God, what the hell is he doing_ . He’s so freaked out that he doesn’t even pull back, he just stays there, his lips on Minhyun’s. It takes him seconds to notice that _Oh my God, Minhyun is kissing him back._ And he’s kissing Jaehwan _hard_ , biting his lower lip before gliding his tongue into his mouth, pulling Jaehwan’s body against his and they are so close now and it’s amazing. Minhyun’s hands are everywhere - they’re touching his lips,  they’re under his shirt stroking his back, then traveling down his body until they reach his shorts and -

 

 

 

 

No. No, no, _no_.

 

 

 

 

No, he couldn’t let this happen, he couldn’t let this cycle repeat itself all over again. Jaehwan isn't a masochist, not that he knows of.

 

 

It’s hard, it’s the most difficult thing in the world, but he pulls back

 

 

“Hyung. Hyung, _please_.” He pulls back and sits up and Minhyun stays down. There’s a puzzled expression on his face. There is also something else, something pained.

 

“I’m sorry, did I - did I do something wrong?” Minhyun’s voice is shaky like he’s actually nervous, and it’s the first time he sounds like that ever since they started doing whatever they were doing, and Jaehwan feels immediately guilty.

 

“No. No, of course you didn't.” Jaehwan’s voice softens “I was the one who… kissed you, and I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me -” Jaehwan swears Minhyun’s face falls when he says that and something is not adding up - Maybe he thinks Jaehwan doesn’t want to be his friend anymore?

 

“Thing is.” He readies himself for The Big Reveal. “Thing is, hyung. We can’t go back to doing whatever we were doing.”

 

“But I thought you enjoyed it...” Minhyun’s voice is so low it’s almost a whisper, and he sounds like he’s pouting and God, Jaehwan never wants him to get hurt.

 

“I did! That’s the thing. I enjoyed it _so_ much. Too much,  even.” He sighs “I know you were doing this to please me, hyung, I know that you wanted to show that you care, that you want to take care of your members, but it was _destroying_ me, hyung.” Oh great, now Jaehwan was going to cry.

 

Minhyun just stares at him with his eyes open wide and Jaehwan has no idea of what he’s thinking and why didn’t he just keep kissing him?  He goes on.

 

“Because it was so casual to you, but it meant _so much_ to me… And when you moved out I couldn’t… I could stop imagining you doing the same to Sungwoon-hy -”

 

“Oh my God” Minhyun interrupts him as he sits up. His expression is of complete incredulity now, and his reaction makes Jaehwan jump.

 

“Oh my _God_ , Kim Jaehwan. You really think I was _jerking you off_ because I ‘wanted to make my members happy’? That’s really it?” He makes finger quotation marks as he talks and Jaehwan doesn’t know what’s going on.

 

“I... yes?”

 

“You think I go around doing this to everyone? Just to be a good friend?”

 

“No, I didn’t say that, I-” He tries, but gets interrupted again

 

“And you’re telling me now that you have feelings for me? Romantic feelings?”

 

Jaehwan’s heart hurts when he hears Minhyun’s words. Is Minhyun angry with him? Is he mocking him? Did he really not expect that?

 

“I’m sorry...” He nods

 

“Shut up. How long?”

 

“Concept Evaluation week...ish?” Jaehwan answers, his head down, and he feels like a little kid getting scolded by his teacher.

 

“Oh my God. Kim Jaehwan.” He repeats. “I can’t believe you.”

 

 

 

Minhyun _laughs_ and then he cups Jaehwan’s face and he _kisses his lips_ again with a loud smack and _what the hell is going_ on?

 

 

“...what the hell is going on?” Jaehwan thinks out loud, his voice a low stutter.“Did I - did I miss anything?”

 

“I can’t believe I’ll have to explain that.” Minhyun lets out a weird nose, something half-sigh half-giggle. “When I literally had my hand on your dick multiple times.”

 

“After that day we spent together filming I got a bit confident. Thought you might like me back and I made a move and I might’ve been too bold, but I had to take my chance and I wanted you so bad.” He continues.

 

“But after it happened you didn’t give me any signs… And it was hard... to pretend I wasn’t affected… I kept hoping, though, and I pretended it was just a casual thing because I wanted to keep being with you. Making you feel good. It was kind of an addiction. You. Only you.” He caresses Jaehwan’s face and there’s so much tenderness in his eyes, but Jaehwan’s brain is still kind of frozen.

 

“But you wouldn’t let me touch you…”

 

“I didn’t want you to feel like you had to. Didn’t want to take advantage of you… even if I already was, kind of”

 

“And I thought I was taking advantage of _you._ I was going crazy, my head was such a mess. Then we moved out, and - ”

 

“And I didn’t have an excuse to touch you anymore. And you backed away from me and I tried to forget you, but missed you so much.” Minhyun’s words break Jaehwan from his confused state and fill his heart with so much joy he feels like it could burst.

 

“I missed _you_ so much.” Jaehwan confesses “So _so_ much” With that, Jaehwan closes the distance between the two of them because he can’t take this anymore, he has touch him. He straddles Minhyun’s thighs and kisses his mouth, then his jaw, then his neck. “I was dying to kiss you again” 

 

So they do kiss again, and it’s slow and languid but no less urgent. Jaehwan wants to roll his hips against Minhyun’s, wants to take his clothes off and devour each and every inch of him, wants to make up for all the time he’s lost, all of those months not being able to touch him back. He’s itching for it.

 

Minhyun’s hands are cupping Jaehwan’s ass now, helping him move up and down and it feels so fucking good. “And I was dying to touch you like this. To touch you everywhere…” Minhyun says as his hands crawl under Jaehwan’s shirt, slowly caressing his abdomen before making its way to his nipples. Jaehwan couldn’t believe he wasn’t dreaming. He wants this, he wants this _so much,_ but it’s his turn to make him feel good now.  It’s his turn to make him come.

  
He grabs Minhyun by the shoulders and pushes him down, making his back hit the mattress with such force it makes Minhyun’s eyes open wide in surprise. He tugs Minhyun’s shirt up and _Jesus Christ he’s gorgeous_ , then tries to take his pants off and he’s too enthusiastic and too clumsy and the pants _won’t come off_ , but he manages in the end. And he’s greeted by the most amazing sight, Minhyun’s cock standing long and proud and wet and it’s beautiful just like him.

 

He's going to have fun tonight.

 

 

*

 

 

Jaehwan wakes up to the rays of light coming from the window. To the birds chirping outside. To Minhyun’s slow, steady breathing on his ear. It's amazing, how your life starts to resemble a movie when you're happy. He tries to move, but Minhyun's arm is too heavy on his waist. Jaehwan stays there then, even if he doesn't even fall back asleep, just comfy and warm and enjoying Minhyun's naked body against his. _Last night was fun,_ _indeed_ , he thinks, and his dick immediately jerks against the bedsheets as the memories of their night together flood his mind. And, for the first time in months, Jaehwan doesn't feel guilty or embarrassed about it. He's a healthy young man, after all.   

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was brought to you by Jaehwan's morning wood during Broduce. I'm by no means responsible for this. 
> 
>  
> 
> Please be my friend and cry with me at twitter.com/laquesis8 or scream at me at curiouscat.com/laquesis8


End file.
